Monday, August 23, 2010

God not me...

So I did something silly a while back and co-signed on a car loan for a friend. I like to help people but sometimes, even though I don't trust people, I like to think that I can trust and it will be alright. This didn't end up being alright BUUUUUT I live and learn and know not to do that again.

A short time after getting the loan she became delinquent on her payments. When she goes delinquent, it not only reflects on her credit but also on my credit. I was in such good standing with my credit and now it has really gone down and continues to because she is delinquent again. I kind of let it go and realize that this is not in my hands. If I should need anything, God will provide and a credit score will not be the ultimate determination if it is something that I really need.

So the other day I receive a text message from her wanting to know if she could ask me something. Uhh...well that's a loaded question. away! Now, mind you, she is currently delinquent 2 payments on the car loan and getting caught up with it. She wanted to know if I would co-sign on a $2,000 loan for her as she was needing some sort of surgery. She spent the rest of her money fixing her son's car. Uhhhh....what? I think we have a bad connection. You owe money from the loan I co-signed for and now you want me to co-sign for another loan? LOLOLOLOL! I was in shock and disbelief that she would ask me this. After calming down a bit, I talked to somebody who told me how to respond. So I did tell her no and that due to the delinquencies from the car loan, I doubt I would qualify to help her at this time even if I wanted to. She apologized for the late payment situation and understood. I decided to then ask her what the surgery was for. This is the kicker of it all. I know, I know, you would think that it was causing my credit to be bad, huh? Nope! Maybe that she would ask me to co-sign for a loan knowing that she is delinquent now? Nope! She wanted the money in order to get a boob job. I thought I was going to come unglued.

I don't tell you this as to make her a bad person. I am saying this because God turned this around. My frustration and my confoundedness was not shown but He confirmed to her what was right. I told her that she is silly for getting a boob job as she is fine just the way she is. Of course, most people are fine compared to me and are silly for wanting to get a boob job. haha! After I asked her if her boyfriend had the money and he said he didn't, (taking a big risk) I told her that it seemed it wasn't in God's plan for her to get a boob job. It was to her realization and confirmation that it was not His will for her to be doing this. Her reply was "no Steph, don't say that because I do believe you're right. It's not His will". So I finished it off and replied, "well, I don't think I would want to go against what God's will is for you then". She then thanked me.

God turned around something that could have gone so wrong with my words and what my thoughts were but He gave me the discernment of what to say and in a way that didn't make this a bad situation. Believe me, I did not want to be polite to her. I know I could have let all my politeness go and ask her what the heck she is thinking by going off and doing this when she in no way can afford to do so. Then, to see that my words  made her realize, that to proceed with what she would do, would not be part of God's will amazed me. It was not me. He guided me the whole way, my thoughts, and my words that came out of my mouth. This would not have come out so nicely without Him in my thoughts. Then to have her thank me was really a topper.

I can always see how He works in the lives of others but I don't know when it comes to me. How awesome to see Him work through me and afterward know that it wasn't me but Him. It was a blessing for me. I don't know that she will continue this way but I know, at that moment, He used me to talk to her and it was a blessing. Remember, He is the one guiding us.

Thanking Him in the footsteps that He leads me.

p.s. yep, that's it! that's all it is. haha!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Share time

I am not one that can always come up with something to share but I was reading something and wanted to share this with you as it can be such a pull in our lives at times.

Indwelling sin doesn't observe a sabbath. Just when Paul was ready to do something holy and loving, sin was at his elbow (Romans 7:21). Sin isn't just a permanent houseguest; it's a meddlesome wretch. It's always poking its nose in, looking over your shoulder, whispering in your ear.
Do you want to pray? Listen to a sermon? Meditate on the Word? Give a generous gift to the Kingdom? Encourage a brother? Resist temptation? This hateful, wicked pest is in your face with a thousand distractions and surprises making sure you can't perfectly accomplish the good you intend (verse 18; Gal. 5:17). It exasperates us.

Sin does its dirty work with the greatest of ease. Since it works from within, it "easily entangles" us (Hebrews 12:1). It needs no help from the outside (though the world and the Devil are always ready to lend a hand). There is no spiritual duty, nothing godly you can set yourself to, in which you won't feel the wind of sin's resistance in your face. Does God command you to believe he is good and wise when you lose a friend? Indwelling sin sidles up with seeds of doubt and mistrust. Does God command you to help a neighbor in need? There is sin with apathy and stinginess in hand. Does God want you to long for the coming of Christ? Here is sin dangling before your eyes the trinkets of the world.

The more you discover the power of indwelling sin, the less you will suffer its effects.

I think this reminds me so much of the struggle of the doubt I have and maybe others may have. That voice that is constantly nagging telling me different things about myself. About others. They don't like you. They don't care. She doesn't care and they don't want to do anything with you. Not good enough. It just wants to keep you in that spot so that you can't stretch. See what the Truth is. The hateful wicked pest is in your face and doesn't want to let you breathe. Be who you are and shine for the One who loves you through and through.  Today, I see how this has entrapped me this past week. I discover the power of it and its effects that I can suffer. Today, I breathe a new breath in seeing Truth.

Remember He promises His presence to you at all times and He gives us His holy spirit to guide us. So easy to forget but such assurance knowing this.

Now let Your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me. Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for you law is my delight.

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