God gives us a verse in His Word that says to put our hope in what is unseen rather than the things that are seen. Boy, it is so much easier to put our hope in what is seen because if we do then we have an idea of what really is there. Put our hope in something that isn't there...not so much. Lately though, I have realized that the things that He brings us IS so worth the hope of waiting to see what He has for you in the midst of it all.
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not have yet, we wait for it patiently.
I know this hope is talking more of a hope for the coming of His glory but this also made me think of the things that He has in store for us here and now as we go through each day. We don't want to go through the motions of it all because of the hurt but out of that hurt comes a beauty of a friend, a bond of a child, a life changed you never thought would change. The hope that is unseen when we don't see the hope in it and feeling alone in the situation. Just when I was starting to feel the darkness closing in, He gave me hope through the light of His guiding hand. I am still walking in the midst of it at work, not sure if something will go wrong at any moment, but as He put light on my path and redirected my hope, my steps feel a little lighter.
What's the next trial God will give me or you? I don't know but where is your hope? The seen which may be disappointing because "been there done that" or the unseen which can open your eyes wide and bring joy to your heart.
Take a deep breath and hold on to knowing He is holding your hand in it all.
So, I have a new friend at work. It's so nice to have someone to talk to and to joke around with now. We get along really well and our humor is so much the same. I am starting to get along with my boss that I have been having problems with at work. This week has been really good.
I have been praying for these things and I know that others have been praying for me as well. For God to bring me a new friend at work that I can be myself with. Being in a lawyer's office with a bunch of people who can be rather "stuffy" gets frustrating at times. Can't joke around, can't be too loud, and don't think too loud either. It is very hard to be "me" in a lawyer's office. Especially, MY crazy personality. As people have gotten to know me and my crazy ways, they just shake their head and laugh. So, it was nice when this girl and I started talking with each other. We could reeeelaaax with each other and she told me the same thing. Someone besides GEORGE understands me! LOL!
Sunday night I was praying that God would really change my heart so that my boss and I would get along better. I knew that I wasn't really giving my full heart to change. How could I expect it to change if I wasn't giving my full heart to Him to change the situation. So, I gave it all fully and completely over to Him. I went into work Monday morning and it was different. My boss started talking to me again. There was a lightness once again that hadn't been there for over a month and I knew at that moment that God heard my prayer the night before. What an amazing God that he heard my hurts that I am having a hard time with. He knew it hurt but He wanted my full heart so that I could see His hand in it. In the midst of it all, He brings me a friend at work. One that is struggling just like I am with being herself with others around her.
Then I get to thinking that I might mess it up. Something has got to be wrong with this picture, right? I mean, it's all a good thing so something must be wrong. Why do we think that way? I just want to take it for what it is and I thank God for the blessings He gave me. Keeping my head up knowing He thought of me and I can breathe a little again. His child is laughing at work again.
I feel low today. I feel after being in church today, and already having a sense of this, realizing how much God has given and continues to give me each and every day. I don't give Him nearly as much as He gave of Himself to me and continues to give of Himself to me. How undeserving I am of it and yet still does it. Why? Because He loves me.
So many things take me away from Him, especially when I am struggling with something I don't understand. In the moment, you see it as relief but in reality what you are doing is avoiding the truth. The truth of what you need to do for yourself and Truth of what God wants you to do. So many times I would go for a beer or two or three to take away any feelings I didn't want to feel. Avoiding the issue at hand. I could hear God in the background but the taste, the refreshing feeling and the quench that I got from the beer seemed so good. Shhh!
Did it satisfy...for the moment...ultimately No
Did it give me everything I needed....No
Did I feel better...No
Now I don't drink that beer, even though at times it does try to call me away but now, it is more in watching tv or something that can keep me doing something that is useless. He pulls me over to Him. I shrug and go lay on the couch. I know how it hurts when a friend has intentionally done that to me, how much more He must hurt when I do that to Him. When I don't always give Him my full heart and how He must know there is so much more.
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
He pours out love every day,
every hour, every minute and every second.
Everlasting to everlasting.
My hands and face up to Him...show me your love, Lord. Such amazing love He has for you and me.
Something I learn more and more of each day. I am a person with a big heart and cares a lot (too much sometimes). Has a heart for wanting to learn more of God who love me so much that I don't understand it and want to be able to give that love to others. God has been so patient with me and all the craziness I have put Him through. May I be there for someone else in the same way.