Sunday, November 1, 2009

Everlasting to everlasting

I feel low today. I feel after being in church today, and already having a sense of this, realizing how much God has given and continues to give me each and every day. I don't give Him nearly as much as He gave of Himself to me and continues to give of Himself to me. How undeserving I am of it and yet still does it. Why? Because He loves me.

So many things take me away from Him, especially when I am struggling with something I don't understand. In the moment, you see it as relief but in reality what you are doing is avoiding the truth. The truth of what you need to do for yourself and Truth of what God wants you to do. So many times I would go for a beer or two or three to take away any feelings I didn't want to feel. Avoiding the issue at hand. I could hear God in the background but the taste, the refreshing feeling and the quench that I got from the beer seemed so good. Shhh!

Did it satisfy...for the moment...ultimately No
Did it give me everything I needed....No
Did I feel better...No

Now I don't drink that beer, even though at times it does try to call me away but now, it is more in watching tv or something that can keep me doing something that is useless. He pulls me over to Him. I shrug and go lay on the couch. I know how it hurts when a friend has intentionally done that to me, how much more He must hurt when I do that to Him. When I don't always give Him my full heart and how He must know there is so much more. 

Romans 5:5

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

He pours out love every day,
every hour, every minute and every second.
Everlasting to everlasting. 
 Amazing love

My hands and face up to me your love, Lord. Such amazing love He has for you and me.

Going back to Him in His foosteps


alicia said...

Steph, you have a beautiful and open heart. It is a struggle when useless stuff pulls us away from getting to spend time with Him who will always welcome our company. Really, why is it easier to mindlessly watch the useless tv show? I feel your struggle here. Praying for you as you try to find that sense of balance and walking that journey with you!

Bina @ Bina's Pad said...

I love that you are willing to show your heart in its reality...because I promise you that you are not alone in this struggle my friend. I am praying for your journey back to His arms...and I left you a gift over at my blog today. Go on...go see what it is! :)