Sunday, September 13, 2009

too sensitive

I have struggled with these words a good portion of my life. I am too emotional. I fight with them from inside my own inner thoughts and from other people.

I was joking around with a friend from where I used to work. We always joke around but sometimes it is at that point of "that doesn't feel like a joke" anymore. After saying something she said "you think you're funny but you're really not". Wow! That kind of hurt. The whole conversation from the time we started chatting was rather odd in that she was bolder than she normally was. When I got that, I knew it was time to back off. Then she wondered what was wrong and told me that I was tired and I needed to go to bed.

If I hurt you, I never ever intentionally mean to and when someone doesn't want me to joke, I always respect that and don't continue. I asked if I had offended her and she told me "no". I asked the next day about it and was told that I was being too sensitive. Really? Is that too sensitive or is it that I feel someone being rude in their reaction to me? If I am too sensitive it is because I care and what I heard is that what I said was offensive so please don't do that again but in a rude way.

Yes, I may be too sensitive but I think God made me this way for a reason. Maybe to respect people for who they are but also to respect me. If I were not sensitive then I would not have friendships and be able to relate to people with love and concern. God breaks my walls down for a reason and that may be to be more sensitive when it was not there before. Maybe I am a little more sensitive than others but God is not finished with making me who I am through Him.
John 15:1-2
I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that bears no fruit while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Show me, listen with me and walk beside me. He will never leave you or forsake you. I went to church this morning and remembered how much I mean to HIM. My emotions sensitive in hearing Him and all.

In His footsteps

1 comment:

Bina said...

Yes, God made you ALL that you are and He made no mistakes in you. Can what He made be used, twisted or stepped upon...yes, sadly that is the world that we live in. BUT...I know your heart and I know your desires...and I know that He will continue to show you all that He has for that "sensitive" heart of yours.
Hugs to you my friend,